Trainers: Man Dog Missy

Instructs SimuSwim classes

caricature of missy the man dog, scott fitness mascot & sentry

Contact Man Dog Missy

e: john.scottfitness@gmail.com
SimuSwim Instructor, Mascot & Sentry
mugshot of missy the man dog, scott fitness personal trainer "Hello People. My name is Missy. I am a man ... a man dog. I am Missy The Man Dog, in the tradition of Conan the Barbarian, Joan of Arc, and the lesser-known Herb the Custodial Engineer. Some call me Mr. Missy, but they are just insecure. I don't want to hear any gender jokes or questions. I can bite. I don't want to but, if pushed, I will puncture your skin.

scott fitness mascot & sentry, missy the man dogMy children, Madeline and Spencer, named me Missy after their previous and recently departed pet, Missy ... a dunn-colored Cocker Spaniel who had been with the family for eight years. I refer to her as Proto Missy. I'm glad that she wasn't named Sprinkles or Bubbles or something less dignified. I've known a lot of males of various species named Missy. I can't actually remember anyone in particular at this moment, but I am just a dog ... and I don't feel the need to justify my name. Yes, I do ... If I were named Carol ... Carol the Dog From All in the Family, would that be fine? How about Pat ... Pat The Dog of Undetermined Sexuality? I'd have been fine with Fido. Of course, I'm also fond of Michelle. Michelle The Man Dog would be cool. Since my children named me Missy, I am Missy.

A bit about me ... I was born in a litter ... lost on the streets ... captured by The Man ... and put in Doggie Prison. They called me Archie in the Pen. I was then adopted by a couple of artists from Hallmark. The artists renamed me Humphrey. How pretentious! Soon, however, my name was shortened to Humpy. Puberty was particularly difficult for me. My stay with the Hallmarkers lasted only a month. Their dog didn't like me, so I was put up for adoption in the paper. One of the trainers, Noelle Stoffel, at Scott Fitness saw my ad and told the Scotts about me. The Scotts adopted me sight-unseen. I've been with them and at Scott Fitness ever since. It's a good life although no one gives me enough baths or combs my hair.

We've recently added another dog to our family. Bob is his name. Now, no wise cracks ... Bob was actually John's dog when he was a senior at K-State. Bob is pretty old, but since moving in with us, he's lost about 40 lbs and is getting about fine. His breath stinks . . . wow! The rest of our family includes a varying number of gold fish, two cats, two guinea pigs, and lots of house plants. The Humans include, Madeline, Spencer, and John.

I look forward to seeing you at Scott Fitness in the River Market. I'm there every day with Bob and John. If you'd like to pet me, just ask one of the trainers or find John. He'll get me."

~ Thank you, Missy The Man Dog